I want to stick my p in your. b.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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