I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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