between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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