I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
