if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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