I looked at my own cervix.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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