I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
