And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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