If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
