Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
