You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
