Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
