There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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