Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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