so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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