just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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