I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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