so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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