And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
