dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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