you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
