also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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