why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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