Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
