no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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