White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
