Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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