And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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