just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
