YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
