I wish I could teleport
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
