great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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