I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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