Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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