worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
