Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
don't judge my taste in strippers
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
pray to the hookup gods
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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