i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
