My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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