You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
