I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
