i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
