I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
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