i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Who died my cat blue again?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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