I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
