she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
