My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I wish I only lived at night.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's never too late to be topless.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
