You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
