if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
