Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
there is glitter all over my balls
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
