How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize