How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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