I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
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