glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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