I want to walk on stilts...naked
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
