yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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