she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I FOUND THE LEGS
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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