READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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