Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
