Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
